Hey.

Hey. I haven't updated in a while. I'm thinking that now is the time. Life has been really really hard for me the passed year. Really hard. I've gone through all kinds of things. I mean...Who'd have thought that I'd end up getting depression? Who'd have thought that I would have no way to deal with that other than hurting myself? And who would have thought that I would entirely give up on God and on religion? Well, it's all happened. I'm still me, just I'm broken. Really broken. I'll probably stay this way for a while. Although I am much much MUCH better than I was half a year ago, I am much much MUCH worse than I was a year an a half ago. I'm trying so hard to get better. To get okay. And to be honest, I think that it could be easier if I could tell my friends about all this. They never think that there's anything wrong with me. They just assume that this is who I am. And yes, I am this way now. I am broken. But maybe everyone is broken, everyone is hurt. Maybe everyone is scarred in some way by something, though some experience that never should have happened. And maybe everyone has fears. Fears that the passed is gonna come back and make the emptyness come back. I realise that now. I thought it was only me, but now I see....Everyone is broken. Like it or not, you're broken. But maybe it's time for healing, time to move on. So that's what I'm aiming for. And on top of that, I am going to try to do something bigger. I want to HELP people who are going through what I went through. So that's my goal. Anyone in?

SUMMER TIME!

It is FINALLY SUMMER TIME! Yes, Americans have been on break for forever, but me? Oh no. Canada schools go on for FOREVER AND A DAY!!!!! Okay, that's an exageration. But yes, I only just got onto summer vacation. Anyways......I don't really have much to say.......Okay. Now, onto OF THE DAY STUFF!
Book of the Day: Almost Eden
Song of the Day: "Tell Me Why" by Taylor Swift
Joke of the day: Q) Why wasn't Jesus born in Kentucky A) Because they couldn't find three wisemen or a virgin.
Quote of the Day: "That's no cleaning, that rearanging mess."-Virginia, when I told her that when I cleaned my room, mostly the mess got shoved wherever I could put it........
Random Thought of the Day: What if the world that we live is just the memory of a world because in the future from now, people went back in time to change something and what we're living in is just a memory?
Random Fact Of The Day: Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category. (I BET MY SCIENCE TEACHER KNEW THAT!!!!!!)

Anyways. Nothing much is going on in my life, but I'll see if I can come up with something more interesting to say next time I post.....
Bye!

That's about it for now.

Just Another Day

Today was kinda tiring. I went on a run and stuff. It was just regular same old, same old. School was school, that kind of thing. Science class was really good. We're learning about biology, which I love. Right now we're focusing on cells, and asexual reproduction. So it's pretty interesting. That's about all I have to say (sorry if this was a less than exciting post). I guess I'll just do some of the "of the day" junk.
Song of the Day: The Kentucky Song....I don't know the real name, my choir teacher randomly sang it to me today.
Book of the Day: "Graceling" by Kristen Cashore. Again. Cuz I haven't finished yet. It's on my "to do" list. You know, that "to do" list that never actually gets written down.
Quote of the Day: "When life gives you lemons, throw them at your ex-boyfriend. They probably desurve it."-Me. Why? Just cuz.

That's all I've come up with for "of the day" stuff. Oh well. I'll try to post something more interesting next time.

Really Long Time No Post

Firstly, I deeply apologize for not updating in forever and a month. My life has been insane. More than insane. Like, a tornado of insanity. Or no, multiple tornados of insanity. So just forgive me for not updating. Speaking of tornados, my school did a musical production and I was in the chorus. Now, what does this have to do with tornados? Two things. One, it was "The Wiz" and there were tornado dances. I wasn't one of them, but still. Two, is that I was at school until 10:00 at night every day this week. Is that a good enough excuse to not update for a month? Nope. But it's something. I guess. Well, it counts as one tornado in the whirl wind of life. Next is that I didn't think that I COULD update my blog due to parental controls not letting me go to my blog. So don't expect comments from me any time soon. But apparently, I CAN update it. I just can't see it afterwards. Still, I can see your comments because they are emailed to me, thankfully. Anyways, I'm basically exhausted and won't say much. I'll just do the usual.
Quote of the Day: "Use the talents you possess - for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best." ~Henry Van Dyke
Book of the Day: "Graceling" by Kristin Cashore. I'm just reading it now, reccomended to me by Emily-wa. :)
Song of the Day: "The Truth" ZOEgirl. I heard it a few days ago and thought it rocked!
Random Question of the Day: Do people with triskadecaphobia like spiders?
Random Thoughts of the Day: Ah, there are many many random thoughts. But the one I shall choose for today is that life is like a roller coaster. You go up and down, and sometimes upside down. The thing is, it doesn't stop. Even if you barf on the roller coaster of life, it does not stop. So remember, when you barf of the roller coaster of life, do NOT barf on your friend beside you. For some people, if you barf beside them, they're barf right back. NOT FUN. Okay, that was my random thought of the day.

Okay, that's all I've got for now. I might speak more of my crazy life later, but for now I shall go a live it!

Long Time, No Write

Sorry for not posting in forever and a day, but that's how it is. I guess I'm just not as into blogging as I used to be. But that's not the point. I'm gonna update because I need to blog something out. Usually I'd think something out, but sometimes thinking just doesn't cut it. Which means that I need to blog it out. Usually I'd analyse a quote or some lyrics or SOMETHING, but really, I think I'm done with that. Okay, I don't even know if I can post this here because my parents are super nosy and might read, so I can't blog it out. Which means I'm trapped. So let's talk about being trapped. I mean, really, what is trapped? A state of mind? A place? Having chains? Well, I remember last year in Bible class (Yes, I'm talking about last year in Bible class. Good times.) well, we were talking about things that chain us, things that keep us from God. Things that keep us from being who we should be. We wrote down as a class a list. It was mega-cool. All kinds of things were on there, but it was mostly what we put into our head. Like, what types of music we listen to, what books we read, who we talk to, and what TV shows we watch. All kinds of things can keep us from having a relationship with God. So many things. I guess I didn't realise some of them at the time. I guess I didn't realise a LOT of them at the time. I couldn't see that contradictions could keep me from God. I couldn't see that LOGIC could keep me from God. I couldn't see that SCIENCE could keep me from God. The strange part? All those things can bring us closer to God too. Just as quickly as they can make us simply walk away from God, they can make us walk towards. I guess they just make us walk, and we get to decide where to. Just if we decide, chances are, we'll make the wrong decision. Which is why we have to let God be in control, I guess. Wow. Looks like I blogged out the right thing afterall. That is just SO cool.

Random x 3

Okay, so I've got a few things to say. One, I updated my quote blog with some random quotes that my friends said. It's hilarious. I haven't updated recently cuz of issues invovling my parents being nosy. Not fun. So now I have some things to say....:


1) During chapel a few days ago there was a fantasic metaphor that went unnoticed due to the fact that it was an "accident". You see, the dude who was talking to us made a little snowman out of clay and while he was talking about Creation and all that (we're going back to Genisis here, peeps) his little snowman (clayman?) fell over. DON'T YOU GUYS SEE WHAT THAT MEANS??? Okay, so I see it as we fall down all the time, and only the One who made us (God) can pick us back up because we CAN'T do that on our own. So I basically thought that it was mega-cool, but stupid that I was the only one who seemed to notice.


2) A few days ago at school we had a really good devotional, but (of course) i can't simply copy/paste it, so i'll just summerize. I guess it's on the same theme as the chapel thing was, it was about how God is a potter and turns us into beautiful teacups, but to do so He's gotta put us in the oven and it hurts at the time but is all worth it in the end when God can use us for all kinds of cool things. To go with that, here's a link to a song that's kinda about that, but not really. It's more about trusting God while He's working in us.

3) I saw a really cool video on the net a few days ago. I'd heard the story before through chain mail, but I think it's really cool (as in the REAL type of cool) so here's a link to that....Let's try to get it around!! I mean, really, if somethings this great, we can't just keep it to ourselves.


I guess that's it, for now. I wont get to update for a while, likely, so I guess that sucks.

Metaphore Updates

Everything I learned, I learned in Social Studies, or so I used to say. And you know what? It stands true. Well, kind of. I'm still learning from last year's Social Studies class. Okay, a long time ago before I deleted this blog, I said that my Social Studies teacher called the class homogenous (hahaha...people thought that he was calling us milk...good times, good times). As in we were all the same. But maybe he was looking at us without a microscope. Homogenous things can be either mixtures or pure substances. Maybe he was refering to us as a really well mixed mixture, as in we all look the same but really there are a lot of different particals in there. So now I'm trying to figure this out. But he said it like an insult, like he was pittying us. Wait a tick, if we're all the same, what the heck am I? A flick of dirt that got in with it? Doesn't that mean that eventually an outside force will try to take me out of the mixture? Throw me on the ground? Or is this like a kool-aide mix and I'm a chunk of undiluted powder that's eventually gonna get mixed in? Sure, let's go with that. So I'm a piece of undiluted kool-aide powder. Great. My friends are too and so maybe we're clumping together so that it's less likely for us to get into the mix with everyone....but the parts that joined last on the outside are the ones that are gonna come off first....the ones who'll be first to join the mixture....guess who joined my group of friends last? Yeps, that would be me. Which means that if any of us are gonna get pulled into the mixture, I'm gonna be first. Fun, eh? Okay, now onto an equally depressing metaphore.

Remember the whole thing with the quotation marks? Well, my english teacher was talking about quotation marks and she mentioned this book. A book that didn't use quotation marks, but because of that it all ended up feeling more real. See where this is going? If everyone weren't such quotation marks of imitation, then maybe we'd all feel more real. Nice thought, eh? Too bad it's highly unlikely. Which is what makes it depressing. Aren't I just being so happy today.

Okay, so those are my updated metaphores. Also, I can't update much cuz my parents found out about my blog so I've gotta keep it a secret adress while I can....Okay, I should go now...