Monday, October 26, 2009


Hey. I haven't updated in a while. I'm thinking that now is the time. Life has been really really hard for me the passed year. Really hard. I've gone through all kinds of things. I mean...Who'd have thought that I'd end up getting depression? Who'd have thought that I would have no way to deal with that other than hurting myself? And who would have thought that I would entirely give up on God and on religion? Well, it's all happened. I'm still me, just I'm broken. Really broken. I'll probably stay this way for a while. Although I am much much MUCH better than I was half a year ago, I am much much MUCH worse than I was a year an a half ago. I'm trying so hard to get better. To get okay. And to be honest, I think that it could be easier if I could tell my friends about all this. They never think that there's anything wrong with me. They just assume that this is who I am. And yes, I am this way now. I am broken. But maybe everyone is broken, everyone is hurt. Maybe everyone is scarred in some way by something, though some experience that never should have happened. And maybe everyone has fears. Fears that the passed is gonna come back and make the emptyness come back. I realise that now. I thought it was only me, but now I see....Everyone is broken. Like it or not, you're broken. But maybe it's time for healing, time to move on. So that's what I'm aiming for. And on top of that, I am going to try to do something bigger. I want to HELP people who are going through what I went through. So that's my goal. Anyone in?


Haley~Hyperness is ICY said...

Hey, fellow scott-blog-commenter from back in the day.
I finally found your blog again.
I'm sorry that you're depressed. I know a couple other people who are struggling with depression as well.
it's good that you're moving on. you may find yourself being fixed along the way :-) :-)
since I'm not religious, I won't pray for you, I'll just do some cheerleader encouragements inside my head that I will telepathically send to you.
did it work? :-P

Haley~Hyperness is ICY said...

also: go look up Kip Fulbeck, he totally just said the same thing when he came and spoke to our mixed ethnicities of the world club.