Thursday, August 21, 2008

Just Me Again

You might be surprised to find this blog here...the truth is, I missed it like hell. I hope everyone sees this. I have a quote for today..."Freedom has a way of destroying things"-Specials by Scott Westerfeld...yeah, I've used it before, but now let's think this through. Does freedom have a way of destroying things? In a way I think "yeah...I would know"...mostly because I am such an expert at ruining my own life. But is it REALLY our freedom that destroys things? Are we really, truly free? The thing is, there is a lot of sin in the world. And sin is a chain. So as long as we are living in a sinful world, are we free? I would say that the answer is no. Simply because we aren't free til we die and go to heaven. We are trapped inside our earthly bodies and inside our own sin. We aren't free. We are surrounded by people...none of us are free. Maybe the greatest freedom in life is the one freedom that we so often deny ourselves...the freedom to be ourselves. When we are ourselves, do we destroy things? Yes. But the truth is, I've destroyed a whole lot more as someone else than as myself. And you know what? I made a list about what I learned today, so here it is:
1) I can be stubborn...really stubborn
2) The phrase "I don't know" is just a stupid person's way of avoiding the truth
3) Oboe reeds only cost 10 dollars...not 15.
4) I can wear skinny jeans and look good in them!
5) Protesting books made into movies is a REALLY stupid idea.
6) That not having thoughts in my head is VERY unsettling.
7) How to spell "mathematicain".
8) 2 more ways to use a nail-board thingy
9) That my better judgment is kind of non-exsistent.
10) That I've said some mean things that I now find are insulting ME.
11) That depressing music actually puts me in a good mood (but i kinda already knew that)
12) That the number 12 isn't really stalking me...I've been stalking it.
13) That I have GOT TO read my Bible more...if you find a verse on being yourself, let me know...
14) Sometimes people change and it's scary. Very scary.
15) Social Studies class sucks...not even kidding.
16) That most stores at the mall actually have really good music.
17) Math is stupid.
18) School Schedules really aren't that exciting.
19) When you don't follow your heart, it might deside to pull you along anyways.
20) That I've always been a robot to society at heart...always will be.

I don't agree with all the things I learned and you know what? I don't have to. I don't agree that I'm a robot to society at heart...definetly on the surface, but not at heart. At heart, I am most definetly a.....well, I don't know what I am at heart. All I know is that I love God no matter what. It doesn't matter what the world says to me, I'll just suck it up and go in whatever direction I feel like going. And you know what? I feel so happy right now...I feel at home. Because I used to have a blog just like this, but I deleted it. And I regret that decision. So I'm trying to fix it. From this moment on, I'm gonna not screw up my life more than neccessary. Here me, when I say that for now on I'm just gonna be myself!!! That for now on, the world has no hold on me...that I'm FREE! And guess what? This freedom is not gonna destroy things. This freedom is from God, and so all it's gonna destroy is evil! Right now, I'm so happy that I could fly! So live life, have fun, but at the same time, constantly search for something more...because you know what? You just might find it.


kenzie said...

does that mean your gonna be happy again?
Im getting mixed signals?

TZ said...


andrea-la said...

happy, i think. for now. not completely sure about tomorrow, but i'm happy right now...

Emily-wa said...

WHAT TZ SAID, YAY! *Joins in Confetti Throwing*

andrea-la said...

can we throw metaphorical LEMON confetti? i hear it smells nice...