Tuesday, September 23, 2008


I just realised something today. We had to play a sffzs today during band as part of a song we were working on and the teacher said that there was beauty in everyone being able to be exactly the same. Also, in band, not everything is equal. Now, let's think, in the world we live in, people seem to think that being the same is a good thing (globalization comes to mind) and peole have this false idea that people aren't equal. So what am i getting at? I'm getting at the fact that music has a way of taking everything that society says is "right" and we turn it into something amazing. Because if we played all the notes exactly equally, it wouldn't be as musical. If we were all over the place with the music, it would be a mess. So I guess we can take this two different ways. We can say that society is just one big song and we can go along with what the world says 'cus it works in music. Or we could say that things can be wrong, but everything has a good side. Let's just go with the second way and say that music has a way of doing what people are told to do, and making it perfect. Because in truth, music transforms us from idiotic humans to wonderful inventors. The composer of a song leaves it up to us to make it beautiful. We get the opportunity to finish the painting...we get to create! When we do this, it's so amazing. We stop being whoever we've been acting like all our lives and we are finally ourselves, but we also belong. We also get to be part of something bigger. 'Cus when I'm singing or playing music of any kind, I feel more real. And that's something that I've been thinking about a lot...whether or not I'm real. Sometimes it's like I'm not real. Sometimes it's like I'm dreaming and none of this is really happening. I've tried all kinds of things to make me feel more real....actually, I have a quote..."People who read aren't saticified with their life, so they try to live someone else's". Someone once said that to me. Yeah, sometimes I read to escape this world. Sometimes I read to be in someone else's shoes. Because you know what? Sometimes you just get tired of being in your own shoes. Sometimes you need a break. Which brings me to another quote: "Not everything made you stronger. It was possible to survive, yet still be crippled for your trouble. Sometimes it was okay to run away, to skip the test, to chicken out. Or at least to get some help. "-Midnighters, Scott Westerfeld. I've been thinking about that a lot. Actually, I wrote that quote on my french binder ('cus whoever said "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" has never attended a high school french class) Anyways, the point is, saying that everything makes you stronger, is bogus. Not everything makes you stronger, so sometimes when we need to escape our world, we need to, be it by music, books, sports, writing, or basically anything. People say that I live in my own little world, and that's kinda true. I don't like our world that much, so I live by the whole "I regect your reality and substitute my own" thing. I don't like the way the world is, so I ignore it and go off to live in Dreamland, Planet Elsewhere. At least, that's what it says on my blogger profile for where I live. Mostly cuz it's true, I don't live on earth, at least, not entirely. I live in a much nicer place where my imagination goes wild and where quoation marks can talk. Actually, I sometimes visit other people's imaginary worlds...aka I read books. Cuz those imaginary worlds are pretty cool too. So yeah, I've gotten really off topic from music, and that's fine. Topics are for idiots. Plus, this relates to music cuz music takes me to a whole other world. Actually, let's quote animal planet and say "Same planet, different world"...so yeah, that sums it up nicely. Oh and then there's my band teacher's theory. Okay, so I breath normally about as much as a normal person when they sleep (my band teacher laughed when I said that I "breath half as much as a normal person"...he was all "so you've gotten to the point where you don't even try to include yourself with the average?"...back to "topic") anyways, I breath half as much as a normal person, and that is about how much people breath while they sleep. And apparently I'm "always tired" and I bump into a lot of things, so therefore, I'm sleepwalking. That explains why I say so many random things (music spoons come to mind) and why I am so clumsy. So apparnetly I'm sleepwalking through life. To that, I say that I am metaphorically sleep walking through life. In normal terms, I mean that I'm not paying an ounce of attention to the world around me, so it's almost like I am sleepwalking. So yeah. But I never sleep during math class. Actually, I got really mad at my friend when she fell asleep during math. But I don't blame her, we're doing graphs. And graphs suck. They're just so boring!!! *warning...math rant about to begin*. When we graph something, we put wrong information onto a poorly organized chart (tjart...lol) and we make it look pretty. Whatever happended to just nice, normal, data that didn't have to be color-coded? What happened to the beautiful simplicity of mathematics? Because graphs are NOT simple...they are a complicated way to show outdated statictics. I mean, my math text book is so old that the statictics are from 1969. Not even kidding. I mean, who cares about stats from 40 years ago enough to graph it? I mean, I know how to graph and this "practicing" is just wasting time. Honestly, if they actually looked at correct statictics they would KNOW that.


hyperness is icy said...

i don't know if i'm real, either. my imagination is enough if it's not, though. you sound like me last year and the year before...except i didn't have a blog to rant on.

Sonja said...

Awesome ranting. Keep up the philosophy gal!

I reckon we are real. It just seems like we r. Sometimes I wish we weren't tho. Life be so much easier at times.
Besides if we weren't real ... then how come we got at least something of a life? Even if we were just bits of information in a program or part of someone else's dream we r still real to some extent cos we have thought, imagination, some semblence of life etc.
Hard topic to argue tho huh?

Sonja said...

Tho I do wonder sometimes, when I close my eyes or go to sleep if we could so easily just not exist? It's hard to explain.

amira-la said...

We all exist, or I should say coexist, to a certain degree. I mean, you can only pinch yourself if it's your OWN dream. Otherwise, you just have to wait for the dreamer to pinch themselves. But then what happens? Does the dreamer know when he will wake up, so he stages your dying? So you die at the exact moment he wakes up to pee? All is possible.